The first Rudolf Steiner's Goetheanum in Dornach, not far from Basel. I've never been there, while it's only 40 kilometers from my hometown. Florence, when she was a student in the art school of Basel, went to see how the inhabitants made colour pigments with minerals. Because Rudolf Steiner was also an artist.
In 1982, during holidays in Uzès where my parents had a house, I recall having had the visit of two men, who were adult students at the Goetheanum II. They were both followers of the macrobiotic diet. One was introvert and his arm was stiff. The other one was extravert, he was like a solar playboy; also an actor, giving acting courses. Every morning, they both went to see the dawn and probably, made some antroposophical prayers to the sun.
One night, the stiff armed man, who I really appreciated, told me that he made a journey in Amazonia for some antroposophical reasons. He told me about the hidden treasure of the Incas, that he tried to find in some Andean caves, on the Amazonian side of the mountains. We spoke all the night about the destiny of man in the universe. Later, I started to read books about Amazonia and became kind of frenetic about it.
He made a strong impression on my very young soul. For the first time, I heared someone talking about a cosmic movement in which the man is included, as a fragment of nature. There were some religious elements in his discours. I was a little bit scary about it. His beliefs seemed to have swallowed him, body & soul, like Jonas in the whale. He was illuminated, like his friend. For me, he also seemed kind of stuck in the cosmos, in an enormous and much too big jail. And the sun dawn wasn't offering any solution. I was feeling that this antroposophical response leads to an incurable pain. If you look at Rudolf Steiner's faces carved in his wooden sculptures, you can see this pain, the face of abandonment and délaissement.
What the two visitors were offered through Rudolf Steiner's teaching was a positive understanding of the universe, completed by an aporia. Almost a faith, which helps you to live a better and healthier life. But one life that also leaves you alone in a labyrinth of contradictory energies, bio corridors filled with an endless void, where nobody calls your name. This 1982 conversation probably was the first step to my conversion in 1986. I was in search for someone. Someone who would call me by my name. After a time of wandering, I eventually found it in the person of Christ. A divine person who has become a friend.
« I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. » (John 15:15).
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